The Truth about Loving Someone

Not a huge surprise but this is going to be my last post.

As I said before the main reason I got into magic was for a boy, well tonight I got to truly see what that boy really was...

For a complete year of my life I've tried to help this boy out, staying in Texas instead of going to London, driving out to Wichita Falls and hiding in my own trunk for him, loosing my job for him because I was trying to help him out, loosing many pebbles for him... loosing my heart to him because I felt like I had seriously found someone special in him, like I had found my other half. I even put up with him going off and messing around with another girl, because I loved him, like a fool. I even asked my mother to loan him $1500 to help him pay his debt... I payed his rent and electricity plus my own, I gave up on my dancing, my only real passion in life, for him so I could get a real job and help him with his 'dream'... I gave him every penny I had just to try and help this boy out, because I loved him and I thought we had something special, a lil hoot and wittle mek... we were even engaged at one point... but tonight I was told what had been going on the whole time.

On August 6th, my birthday, this boy called the other girl and asked her to be his girlfriend, and they dated until October, the whole time I never had a clue. From then on she's been in his life constantly, giving him money, being a stripper to help him get money, spending hours cleaning his house and doing his laundry, giving him ever penny she had, all because she loved him and he was telling her he loved her too... this has been happening sense August all the way up until tonight, the year anniversary of when he and I met... they also just recently lost another child here in December, her admitting to me that they had sex around the end of November beginning of December... the period in which we were engaged...

For months he's been telling me I have real problems and that he's changed for me and that he loves me, that he's IN love with me, and that I need to let go of the past because it will never happen again, and for months I've believed him and truly tried to let go... like a real fool I believed him when he said he loved me and that he had seriously changed for me, and that it was me that had the real issues...

Recently he came to me and told me that he didn't see a future with me romantically, and though it seriously hurt I accepted it and was really going to try and be his friend and to still help him, but tonight when she came forward about everything... I can't help but believe he's just gotten tired of his two old toys and that now he's found new ones to use and take advantage of... I pray for their sakes they don't get suckered like we did.

I will say it now, I truly did love this boy with everything I had in me, I gave him everything I possibly could, and he took me for all that I was worth, and didn't even feel the slightest pain in doing so. Only a truly hideous person could ever do that to someone.

I have a real love for magic, but now, because it was this boy that introduced me to it, it has a truly bitter sweet taste to it, and for now I think it would just be best if I stop trying to learn and love it. One day I know I will come back to it, but for right now, because I know such a horrible person is connected to it, I want to distance myself from it.

Tonight has truly been one of the worst nights of my life, but I'm going to walk away from this and be a better person because of it. That boy will be the very last one to ever take advantage of me like that. Wittle Mek was the wolf the whole time... So with that, for now, this is my last post. I'll be back in the magic world one day and when I am you'll get you're daily dose of crazy every day! But for now, this is goodbye.